Parenting Your Powerful Child: Bringing an End to the Everyday Battles by Kevin Leman

Author:Kevin Leman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAM034000
ISBN: 9781441242808
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2013-08-08T16:00:00+00:00

Powerful Ideas That Work

My son, Kent, was 3 when we adopted his sister, Tricia. A short while after his sister arrived home, I caught Kent biting her on the arm. I was shocked and punished him for it.

Kent had been potty-trained for over a year, but he started wetting his pants. And he kept biting his sister or pinching her when I wasn’t looking. Finally, I had to lock him in his room when she was taking a nap because I couldn’t trust him.

I read a bunch of books and talked to a lot of parents over the next six months. I tried their advice, but nothing worked. He was still biting, pinching, and wetting his pants. And when he was 4, he told me he hated his sister.

The lightbulb went on when I read your Birth Order Book. Kent was jealous of his sister, yes. (I’d figured that much out. After all, I am a college graduate.) But he was also scared of being replaced by his sister. He wanted my attention—however he could get it. That was clear. As a firstborn, he didn’t like change and needed to know the ropes.

So when I found him trying his sister’s diapers on, I got an idea. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “I’ve got a secret to tell you.” He perked right up. I told him that I needed his help. “You’re such a big boy now that you can help me out. And I can count on you. So . . .” I explained that his sister was so little that there were many things she couldn’t do that he could do. His little chest puffed up with pride. I won his cooperation, as you suggested. Now he even brings me diapers and wipes—his nose pinched dramatically, of course—when his sister has a stinky diaper. He’s stopped pinching and biting her.

I got a kick out of him yesterday. I’d put Tricia in her stroller so we could walk to a nearby park when I realized I’d forgotten my house keys. A kid with a dog walked by, and the dog started to stick its nose into Tricia’s stroller.

“Hey!” Kent yelled and whipped the stroller behind him. “That’s my sister. And nobody touches my sister.”

He was so loud, I’m sure the whole neighborhood heard it. But to me, it was one of those pivotal moments in parenting you talk about. We’d gotten over a major hump. Your advice made all the difference.

Michelle, California

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